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The abstract goal is still far away.

September 27, 2009 7 comments

I had a chance to meet my friends a few days ago. Recently, I often go drinking at a bar where many people come from other countries. This time, we chose the bar as the place we talk. It’s been about a year since we gathered before. Things have changed. One of friends has already gotten married for over a year, the other got his baby. Saying that each position as each life, I’m the one who hasn’t changed at all.

As you know, although I am an English speaker, I’m still on my way to my abstract goal that I imagine as well as other English learners are. Ahead of me, I can see a lot of things to do in order to achieve the goal. I couldn’t help laughing Musashi Miyamoto in one comic named Vagaabondo when I dropped by an Internet cafe for my dinner. There is one scene in Bakabondo like this; Musashi was desperate for tenka musou, which means “no one can compare something(in the respect of Musashi, the strength as a sword fighter) with him”. During his training and struggling, he climbed a mountain in desperation like his desire for strength was reflected. After he had stood right at the top of the mountain, higher mountains than where he stood lay ahead of him. “Oh, God gave me the right scene and idea at the right time…lol” thinking like that, I gazed at the scene for a while.

Back to the topic about talking with my friend. In front of them, I had an opportunity to talk with people who speak English. “Hey, your communication skills in English are definitely improved!” one of my friends told me like that.

Ofcourse I’m glad to hear that every time people say it to me, however, I’m a little bit disappointed with myself. One feeling rose up in my heart, I mean, it’s like the scene I wrote above. It’s the one Musashi Miyamoto got. At the very time he got his hand on the top of the mountain at the last time, last minute, he must have gotten great excitement. After the feeling, higher mountains lays ahead of him. That’s what I feel everytime. As long as someone point my improvement on learning English itself, I can see higher mountains even if I feel I achieved one top of a mountain I imagined.

Ofcourse I do understand…that I’m not satisfied even if I break through the wall right ahead of me and no one can no longer point my improvement itself on English out. The mountains wait for me like Musashi saw.

Categories: My diaries
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