Archive for March 10, 2011

Abstract words can become obstacles

March 10, 2011 4 comments

“Mr.Dubois, you have to! You scold him so that he knows he’s in trouble, you rub his nose in it so that he will know what trouble you mean, you paddle him so that he darn well won’t do it again-and you have to do it right away! It doesn’t do a bit of good to punish him later; you’ll just confuse him. Even so, he won’t learn from one lesson, so you watch and catch him again and paddle him still harder. Pretty soon he learns. But it’s a waste of breath just to scold him.” Then I added, “I guess you’ve never raised pups.”
STARSHIP TROOPERS by Robert A. Heinlein

People speak languages, so I’m not saying we should make someone understand like they do for puppies above. Instead of punishments, words can be a tool to express what you are feeling, and can be a receiver for what someone is thinking.

Then, when should you convey your YES or NO? And how? It might be better that you swallow down what you are thinking or what you want to say in the middle of conversation because sometimes people can become angry or irritated being pointed out their mistakes or faults. You can discuss the topic later at the right moment: the calm after the storm.(This idiom ‘the calm after the storm’ is totally what I arranged instantly. The original and correct one is ‘the calm before the storm’.) One more thing, when will the right moment come? A week later? A month later? I know it depends on the situations.

Wait a minute. How are you going to express your feeling later, then? Maybe someone that you want to tell your feeling might forget everything he/she did. Maybe he/she is able to search for his/her words from his/her archives. I’m jealous of such a person like a computer.

Being concrete, not being abstract, is crucial to you when you talk about something in the past. You thought you were afraid of picking a fight with him/her. Then, let it be concrete, or he/she will be spellbound and confused with your obscure but serious words. I’m sure he/she will become afraid to say anything because he/she totally doesn’t know what he/she did wrong. The later and more abstractly you discuss the matter, the more confused he/she becomes.

Hmmm, this article is completely indicating that I am so fool and easily forget everything that I would like you to tell me gently. Sounds like a child. lol

Categories: My ideas
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